Every year people make New Year’s resolutions, and in my case, I make resolutions all year long. I get “real serious” and “real determined” to make some major life changes. It seems that every time I try this…I don’t fall off of the bandwagon, I nose dive into the cement! Ha!
The more I concentrate on not doing something the more I want to do it!
I remember one of the many times I overindulged in eating ice cream. I must have eaten the whole entire half gallon of Goo Goo Cluster…or maybe it was the Tillamook Peanut Butter and Chocolate that did me in? At any rate, I made a statement that I was “done with ice cream!”… I didn’t make it 24hrs. before I gave into a hot fudge sundae with nuts and whipped cream from Burgerville.
Then there was the time I said, “I am done with men.” I was really feeling pretty great about this statement and thought I could just carry on with my normal life and live completely unaffected by those beings, the opposite sex, …until the next morning! I was running in the park, with no make-up on and my right eye still glued shut. All of a sudden, Channing Tatum (not really him, but oh my goodness…where in the world did this hottie come from?…mammmmmma mia!) runs past me with no shirt on and a smile from ear to ear. In a second, my other eye flew open and I was more then awake and aware of the opposite sex! With just a “hello” I had fallen in love, planned my wedding, was making passionate love to this man every second of every day and living this amazing life! He was an artist…no maybe a musician…no a producer who fell in love with the artist and wanted to make her famous! Yessss, he was rich, and famous himself, but humble and really found me the most incredible thing on earth.
My next thought…
“Woooooow, Elida…you are sooooo strong… you go girl with being done with men!”
I use to get so upset about my failures…feeling so angry about not being able to “get it together!” I was relentless. Imagine yourself sitting there and punching yourself in the face. It’s pretty gruesome to think about, but this is what we do when we emotionally beat ourselves up over our failed attempts at change. I finally, after many years of failed attempts, broken promises to myself, and major emotional beat up sessions had enough. I had to change my pattern…because the more I tried to “not do something”, the more I wanted to do it.
Here are the changes I made.
#1. Stop making ridiculous resolutions that are impossible to keep!
Instead of saying to myself, “I am done with ice cream”….I say, “Elida, you love ice cream…so have it if you really want it, but just eat a little and only have the best ice cream…don’t waste your taste buds on ice-milk or substandard cream!” As soon as I gave myself permission to eat it, it lost it’s power over me. I still do eat ice cream but it’s not forbidden…it’s a treat that I enjoy on occasion.
#2 Focus your attention on the life you really want! You really are what you think!
With food, I ask myself what types of food make me feel good. When I eat healthy, when I exercise, I like the way my body feels and looks. I like to be strong and healthy. Now, I crave fruit, nuts, and vegetables instead of fast food and sweets! This all came from me shifting my focus on food as fuel to make me strong instead of “having to eat healthy to be skinny.”
With men…I love men! How can something that I love be so bad for me? So, I’ve done my best to allow myself to have men in my life but eliminate the bad ones and carefully get to know the good ones. I started salsa dancing, which in itself is a whole other post, but that allows me to get close to a man….real close and sweaty and hot and personal without getting involved in relationships that de-rail my life! My prayer is….”God, I know you have this amazing man out there for me somewhere, so give me the patience & the strength to stay focused on my purpose until you bring him into my life!” I am human, I still make mistakes and fall for a beautiful smile over a man with character at times, but I’m getting better and quicker at recognizing those derailments.
#3 When you fall off of the bandwagon (or nosedive) don’t stay on the ground too long.
Instead, get up quickly, brush yourself off, and run to jump back on!
Like I said earlier….I still nose dive off the bandwagon, or off of elidassupercoolawesometrain! Ha! (That is my personal blog about my life,art, and travels). Anyhow, when I overeat, or fall for the sex dents (those dimples on the inside of a man’s hips that make me go crazy), I stop wallowing, I stop laying on the ground of self pity and remorse. I ask for God’s forgiveness, I then forgive myself and I move forward. The faster you jump up and run to catch that wagon/train the easier it is to get back to where you should be going.
God says, the minute we ask for his forgiveness he throws it into a sea in which he can’t remember. Why do we constantly go back to that sea and fish for our sins? He’s forgiven us, he’s moved on, he’s already seeing us in a new place, but we are the ones who keep bringing it back up. Learn from it, repent, and try to make it right. If you haven’t done anything morally or ethically wrong, then repentance is unnecessary, it’s false guilt, so let it go and charge on!
When I feel stagnant, when my mind is cluttered or confused I stop and think about where my focus is. Where am I spending my time in my head?
I try to re-establish where I want to go and who I want to be.
I imagine myself as the person I want to be and put my thoughts in that direction. Sometimes to shake the distracting thoughts, I memorize scripture. This helps me to focus beyond my current situation, beyond the here and now and look to life beyond. It gets me out of a rut. If you think greater, bigger, stronger….you will become those things. You are what you think…so think amazing!